It's been awhile since I last wrote. We went on vacation for a couple weeks, and then, well, I just never really got back into the swing of things. I thought today might be an interesting post for you all...
My son is an excellent sleeper. I did sleep training early so I like to think that I was the one that made him the way he is, but I'm sure it's because we just got lucky, really. On the contrary, today's afternoon nap was a rough one for him, so I knew something wasn't right. I did the whole, "let him cry for a bit"-thing, but after about 30 minutes (I check on him every 10 minutes or so), I started to get concerned.
Poopy diaper? No.
Gas? I tried what my husband and I call "The Poo Canoe." Nothing.
Teething, perhaps? I used the teething gel. Still crying.
After an hour (and me starting to get really tired and sweaty), I literally got inside of the crib with him. Yup. That's right. I lied with him in the crib, fed, and rubbed his back at the same time. He was asleep in about 5 minutes. Awkward? Maybe...but it works! I've done it before and I'll do it again.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Love I Have
Last month I came across a quote in a magazine. I tore the page out and have had it sitting on my kitchen counter ever since. I've read it at least 25 times.
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." -Agatha Christie, "The Last Seance"
The love I have for my son is beyond words. I can honestly say I never knew what love was until I had him. I thought I knew. I mean I love a lot of things--my parents, husband, dog, cat, our lake house--but I reeeaally love my son. I love him so much that it brings tears to my eyes if I literally think about him too much. For example, if I think about how fast he's going to grow up, I'll start getting teary-eyed. A couple of months ago, as my son was asleep in my sister's arms, she said to me as she was caressing his head, "Gosh, don't you wish you could just take away any pain and heartache he's ever going to have to go through?" I lost it. I couldn't even look at him. I had to leave the room because I started crying. Even as I type this I feel a lump rise in my throat. Having a child makes me look at life in a whole new light. I feel more compassion for others because they are somebody's child. Does that make sense? I've become more patient, more understanding, and more "loving."
Therefore, this quote was very powerful to me and summed up my emotions pretty well. I just wanted to share it with you, too.
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." -Agatha Christie, "The Last Seance"
The love I have for my son is beyond words. I can honestly say I never knew what love was until I had him. I thought I knew. I mean I love a lot of things--my parents, husband, dog, cat, our lake house--but I reeeaally love my son. I love him so much that it brings tears to my eyes if I literally think about him too much. For example, if I think about how fast he's going to grow up, I'll start getting teary-eyed. A couple of months ago, as my son was asleep in my sister's arms, she said to me as she was caressing his head, "Gosh, don't you wish you could just take away any pain and heartache he's ever going to have to go through?" I lost it. I couldn't even look at him. I had to leave the room because I started crying. Even as I type this I feel a lump rise in my throat. Having a child makes me look at life in a whole new light. I feel more compassion for others because they are somebody's child. Does that make sense? I've become more patient, more understanding, and more "loving."
Therefore, this quote was very powerful to me and summed up my emotions pretty well. I just wanted to share it with you, too.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Growth Spurt
Last week was rough. Really rough. Just when I thought I had this whole napping-thing down, the little monster tricked me! (I would say "this little sh*t tricked me!", but I won't. That would be mean. I don't call him those names anyway.) BUT, I will say he was crying and eating and crying some more...all. week. long. Looking back, it was a total blur and I don't really remember doing much of anything. Oh, we went to the pool one day. I think that was it.
It started on Monday--the non-stop crying--and by Thursday I thought something might really be wrong. I thought I wasn't producing enough milk for him. I was exhausted and was beginning to take naps when he was napping. He was eating every 2 hours. No kidding. If he happened to be sleeping at the 2 hour mark, I would pump. I was trying to make more milk for the Incredible Hulk to consume.
I called the pediatrician on Thursday and told her that I thought I wasn't able to satisfy his insatiable appetite and I wanted to mix in some formula. She asked (among other things) how many times a day he was pooping. "Just once," I said, "but everyday." She finally told me to "relax and just go with it for a few more days. He's fine, he's getting enough to eat; he's just going through a growth spurt. It will take a few days for your body to catch up with his needs."
She was right. Apparently my body has caught up to his just fine...we can tell by the new deuce count, right? Since Thursday we've had 2-3 dirty, dir-tay diapers per day, 3 of which were blown-out all over the baby's clothes, and one all over my husband's clothes. This last one involved half a bottle of Spray-n-Wash, a deep soak in the sink, poop on the counter, bleach, 2 loads of laundry, and finally, the hose outside. We decided it was easiest to just power-wash everything on the patio. I recommend this technique when it happens to you.
It started on Monday--the non-stop crying--and by Thursday I thought something might really be wrong. I thought I wasn't producing enough milk for him. I was exhausted and was beginning to take naps when he was napping. He was eating every 2 hours. No kidding. If he happened to be sleeping at the 2 hour mark, I would pump. I was trying to make more milk for the Incredible Hulk to consume.
I called the pediatrician on Thursday and told her that I thought I wasn't able to satisfy his insatiable appetite and I wanted to mix in some formula. She asked (among other things) how many times a day he was pooping. "Just once," I said, "but everyday." She finally told me to "relax and just go with it for a few more days. He's fine, he's getting enough to eat; he's just going through a growth spurt. It will take a few days for your body to catch up with his needs."
She was right. Apparently my body has caught up to his just fine...we can tell by the new deuce count, right? Since Thursday we've had 2-3 dirty, dir-tay diapers per day, 3 of which were blown-out all over the baby's clothes, and one all over my husband's clothes. This last one involved half a bottle of Spray-n-Wash, a deep soak in the sink, poop on the counter, bleach, 2 loads of laundry, and finally, the hose outside. We decided it was easiest to just power-wash everything on the patio. I recommend this technique when it happens to you.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Loving Mother Earth
My husband and I have always tried to be a little eco-friendly, but ever since the last trimester of my pregnancy we've really become much more conscious of Mother Earth and how our actions affect our child's future. (But now that the baby is born I'd say we've become completely obsessed...I know I have, anyway.) I can't help it! My child means more than anything in this world to me and I only want the best and healthiest environment for him. I'm talking about the big picture, though. That's where my recycling, composting, and organic compulsions come into play.
A little over a month ago there was an interview done by NBC about a family that is essentially waste-free. Check out the link: Waste-Free Family. I want to say they're slightly over-the-top, but I can't because...I honestly don't think they are. I think they just live a life like God had intended us to live...simple, clean, organic, and without landfills. At the end of each month, this family can only fill up a soup can's worth of trash. Unbelievable! I can probably collect that much trash out of my purse at any given moment.
We've always used cloth napkins and recycled, but it's really not enough. We've been CSA members for over 2 years now (but wish we could grow more of our own fruits and veggies), we bought a clean-diesel car, but more recently, we've been trying to re-use paper towels and Ziploc baggies. That may sound so weird, but we can use the same paper towel to wipe down our kitchen counters for 2-3 days before throwing it out. We use organic cleaner and then rinse out the paper towel after each use. It's thick enough--like a real kitchen towel. Think about it--for most of our grandparents' lives (and all the generations before that) they used kitchen towels and sponges to clean...not disposable paper towels. You're probably wondering, "Well, why not just stop using paper towels altogether, you smug S.O.B.!" It's tough. That's why. We're not there, yet, but we will be soon. I do this for the well-being of Earth, but even more so for my son. I hope I can see him, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren grow up in a neighborhood with clean streets and beaches. Honestly, though, that's a tall order at the rate our world is going. If you make one small change now, you will become conscious of every future thing you do!
A little over a month ago there was an interview done by NBC about a family that is essentially waste-free. Check out the link: Waste-Free Family. I want to say they're slightly over-the-top, but I can't because...I honestly don't think they are. I think they just live a life like God had intended us to live...simple, clean, organic, and without landfills. At the end of each month, this family can only fill up a soup can's worth of trash. Unbelievable! I can probably collect that much trash out of my purse at any given moment.
We've always used cloth napkins and recycled, but it's really not enough. We've been CSA members for over 2 years now (but wish we could grow more of our own fruits and veggies), we bought a clean-diesel car, but more recently, we've been trying to re-use paper towels and Ziploc baggies. That may sound so weird, but we can use the same paper towel to wipe down our kitchen counters for 2-3 days before throwing it out. We use organic cleaner and then rinse out the paper towel after each use. It's thick enough--like a real kitchen towel. Think about it--for most of our grandparents' lives (and all the generations before that) they used kitchen towels and sponges to clean...not disposable paper towels. You're probably wondering, "Well, why not just stop using paper towels altogether, you smug S.O.B.!" It's tough. That's why. We're not there, yet, but we will be soon. I do this for the well-being of Earth, but even more so for my son. I hope I can see him, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren grow up in a neighborhood with clean streets and beaches. Honestly, though, that's a tall order at the rate our world is going. If you make one small change now, you will become conscious of every future thing you do!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Daddy Needs a Break -- Part 2
Getting back to last weekend for my husband's much needed weekend off...
After the camping debate, he finally agreed to NOT camp by himself, but still surf Friday afternoon, evening, and Saturday. Perfect. I'm happy with that. We spoke to each other Saturday morning and then sent each other text messages throughout the day. I think we spoke to each other Saturday evening, but I can't really remember. Sunday morning, for sure. (We're not a super chatty team on the phone, by the way. I've been told that we're odd for not talking to each other more throughout the day, but we've never been that way, so...oh, well.)
Here's where it gets good, I promise...
I didn't hear from him during the day on Sunday. This wasn't a big deal, but then I never heard from him that night, either. I called and texted him a couple of times, but got nothin'! What the hell?! My sister called me because she had a phone conversation with him. She was trying to get him to answer a question she had about some medical research thing she was working on and all he kept saying was "it's fine, it's fine." She said he was talking gibberish for 45 minutes, never answered her question, and so she finally gave up.
Finally, he calls me Monday morning at about 7am. After my refresher on why it's important for him to check in with me and blah, blah, blah, his response was simple, really:
"Well, Babe, I'm sorry. I remember looking to my right. I remember looking to my left. I didn't see my wife or my baby, so I just told the bartender to keep 'em comin'."
Oh.my.gosh. Really? Needless to say, he wasn't feeling too hot that day.
After the camping debate, he finally agreed to NOT camp by himself, but still surf Friday afternoon, evening, and Saturday. Perfect. I'm happy with that. We spoke to each other Saturday morning and then sent each other text messages throughout the day. I think we spoke to each other Saturday evening, but I can't really remember. Sunday morning, for sure. (We're not a super chatty team on the phone, by the way. I've been told that we're odd for not talking to each other more throughout the day, but we've never been that way, so...oh, well.)
Here's where it gets good, I promise...
I didn't hear from him during the day on Sunday. This wasn't a big deal, but then I never heard from him that night, either. I called and texted him a couple of times, but got nothin'! What the hell?! My sister called me because she had a phone conversation with him. She was trying to get him to answer a question she had about some medical research thing she was working on and all he kept saying was "it's fine, it's fine." She said he was talking gibberish for 45 minutes, never answered her question, and so she finally gave up.
Finally, he calls me Monday morning at about 7am. After my refresher on why it's important for him to check in with me and blah, blah, blah, his response was simple, really:
"Well, Babe, I'm sorry. I remember looking to my right. I remember looking to my left. I didn't see my wife or my baby, so I just told the bartender to keep 'em comin'."
Oh.my.gosh. Really? Needless to say, he wasn't feeling too hot that day.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Daddy Needs a Break -- Part 1
Apparently, my husband needs a break from home life once in awhile! All of those diapers changes, the constant breastfeeding, and crying that I tend to day in and day out can really wear a guy out! Phew.
The baby and I were out of town for a few days visiting my mom for her birthday last weekend. My hubs couldn't make it because "he had to go into the office" over the weekend. Friday morning rolls around and we're packing up my car, but I notice a surfboard in the back of his truck. This wouldn't be anything unusual, except that this board wasn't his. I didn't say anything about it until I noticed another bag was packed with his clothes inside. Here's a little dialogue between the two of us:
me: Babe, what's up with the packed bag and new surfboard?
him: Oh, nothin' much. I just borrowed the board for a little Friday afternoon surf sesh.
me: And the bag? You decided to come with us after all?
him: I might just camp at the beach so I'll already be there to surf Saturday morning, too.
me: I thought you had to work? And who's camping?
him: I don't know...me?
me: Please don't camp by yourself. I don't care who you go with, just don't go by yourself.
him: I'll be fine. Don't worry.
me: It's not you I'm worried about. It's the freaks out there that I worry about. Don't weirdos lurk around campsites and prey on solo campers?
him: Yeah, but don't worry. R___ might come with me.
me: No, he won't. You're just saying that so I don't worry. Wait, why are you so amped on going camping alone, anyway? Oh my God, you're one of those weirdos, huh?
The baby and I were out of town for a few days visiting my mom for her birthday last weekend. My hubs couldn't make it because "he had to go into the office" over the weekend. Friday morning rolls around and we're packing up my car, but I notice a surfboard in the back of his truck. This wouldn't be anything unusual, except that this board wasn't his. I didn't say anything about it until I noticed another bag was packed with his clothes inside. Here's a little dialogue between the two of us:
me: Babe, what's up with the packed bag and new surfboard?
him: Oh, nothin' much. I just borrowed the board for a little Friday afternoon surf sesh.
me: And the bag? You decided to come with us after all?
him: I might just camp at the beach so I'll already be there to surf Saturday morning, too.
me: I thought you had to work? And who's camping?
him: I don't know...me?
me: Please don't camp by yourself. I don't care who you go with, just don't go by yourself.
him: I'll be fine. Don't worry.
me: It's not you I'm worried about. It's the freaks out there that I worry about. Don't weirdos lurk around campsites and prey on solo campers?
him: Yeah, but don't worry. R___ might come with me.
me: No, he won't. You're just saying that so I don't worry. Wait, why are you so amped on going camping alone, anyway? Oh my God, you're one of those weirdos, huh?
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Private School
My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about private schools. Already. I know--crazy, right? We live in a great area, but the public schools suck. It's California, there's zip for cash, so why not cut funding from education? Doesn't make any sense...but that's a whole different topic. So, private school it is!
We (or I, really) have been sweating this for awhile now. I've been trying to screen the phone calls from my husband's mom about this since I was about 4 months pregnant, too. No joke. I knew private school was expensive, but $17K for Preschool?! Holy s@*#! I should teach fingerpainting and potty training! Wait...
So, we were having this conversation (yet again) one morning last week and I was tearing up, as usual, talking about "how we're going to afford it" and blah, blah, blah. I said to my husband, "I'll just work when our kid(s) are in school so we can pay for their school!" He looked at me and asked in a very sarcastic tone, "You're going to pay for it?" Then, in true Fonz style, he pointed to himself and said, "This dickhead's payin' for it." I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? I love him.
We (or I, really) have been sweating this for awhile now. I've been trying to screen the phone calls from my husband's mom about this since I was about 4 months pregnant, too. No joke. I knew private school was expensive, but $17K for Preschool?! Holy s@*#! I should teach fingerpainting and potty training! Wait...
So, we were having this conversation (yet again) one morning last week and I was tearing up, as usual, talking about "how we're going to afford it" and blah, blah, blah. I said to my husband, "I'll just work when our kid(s) are in school so we can pay for their school!" He looked at me and asked in a very sarcastic tone, "You're going to pay for it?" Then, in true Fonz style, he pointed to himself and said, "This dickhead's payin' for it." I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? I love him.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Nourishment for Mom
Since its not easy finding time to cook (or if you don't like to cook), I've been making shakes...and they're delicious! I thought I would share an easy recipe:
1 c. water
4 ice cubes
1 c. kale
1/2 carrot
1/2 banana
1 apple (I like them peeled)
a few frozen peach slices
blend and...ta daaaa! It smells yummy and it's super refreshing. The blend doesn't go overboard on the veggies or the fruit...it's a perfect balance of the two. The faint scent of banana and the fresh taste of apple-y peaches...aaaahhhh. Don't skip out on the kale!! It seems weird to eat it raw, I know, but your body needs the vitamins, it's better for you this way, and you can't even taste it! So go for it! (The kale makes the shake green, too. Neat-o.)
Another thing...it's always tasty to add pineapple juice instead of water. Water works, too, because I had no choice. For those of you that know me, you know that juice doesn't last long in this house--or in your house when I'm over there for that matter.
Sometimes I add the Greens Powder from Isagenix, but sometimes I don't. It really just depends on whether or not I can remember to do so. Most days, I cannot remember anything.
Enjoy!
1 c. water
4 ice cubes
1 c. kale
1/2 carrot
1/2 banana
1 apple (I like them peeled)
a few frozen peach slices
blend and...ta daaaa! It smells yummy and it's super refreshing. The blend doesn't go overboard on the veggies or the fruit...it's a perfect balance of the two. The faint scent of banana and the fresh taste of apple-y peaches...aaaahhhh. Don't skip out on the kale!! It seems weird to eat it raw, I know, but your body needs the vitamins, it's better for you this way, and you can't even taste it! So go for it! (The kale makes the shake green, too. Neat-o.)
Another thing...it's always tasty to add pineapple juice instead of water. Water works, too, because I had no choice. For those of you that know me, you know that juice doesn't last long in this house--or in your house when I'm over there for that matter.
Sometimes I add the Greens Powder from Isagenix, but sometimes I don't. It really just depends on whether or not I can remember to do so. Most days, I cannot remember anything.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The In-Laws
Last Saturday my husband and I went to a wedding and we had his parents watch the little guy. This was the first time I've left him with somebody else for longer than 2 hours. I had never missed putting him to bed until that night. Needless to say, I almost didn't go to the wedding.
Anyway, my in-laws arrived and I was very specific about everything--when he'll wake up from his nap, his bedtime routine, ounces of milk he'll drink, the bedtime, etc. Again, I reiterated the exact bedtime he goes down and what to do if he cries. My mother-in-law definitely heard me, but it didn't make a difference.
We got home at about 11:45pm and SHE HAD JUST PUT HIM DOWN FOR THE NIGHT!!! She said she couldn't stand to see him cry so she continued to play with him, hold him, take him on a walk, and feed him...again. Therefore, from the time he woke up from his last nap until his bedtime, he had been awake for 6.5 hours! No freakin' wonder he was crying--his mind was melting because he was so dang tired!
The point is...it's been 3 days and he's still a wreck. His sleeping habits are completely blown and I'm tiiiiired!
Anyway, my in-laws arrived and I was very specific about everything--when he'll wake up from his nap, his bedtime routine, ounces of milk he'll drink, the bedtime, etc. Again, I reiterated the exact bedtime he goes down and what to do if he cries. My mother-in-law definitely heard me, but it didn't make a difference.
We got home at about 11:45pm and SHE HAD JUST PUT HIM DOWN FOR THE NIGHT!!! She said she couldn't stand to see him cry so she continued to play with him, hold him, take him on a walk, and feed him...again. Therefore, from the time he woke up from his last nap until his bedtime, he had been awake for 6.5 hours! No freakin' wonder he was crying--his mind was melting because he was so dang tired!
The point is...it's been 3 days and he's still a wreck. His sleeping habits are completely blown and I'm tiiiiired!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Breastfeeding
I breastfeed my son and hardly ever use a pump. I've started feeling like he isn't getting enough milk, though. I know your body will always make how much your baby needs, but it's still unsettling. I've recently tried pumping to see how many ounces I'm able to produce, but the problem afterward is that he refuses to take a bottle. Any suggestions?
Side note: He's totally healthy, gaining weight, and making plenty of wet diapers. He's about 14-15 lbs at 3.5 months. He's in the 66th percentile for weight.
Side note: He's totally healthy, gaining weight, and making plenty of wet diapers. He's about 14-15 lbs at 3.5 months. He's in the 66th percentile for weight.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Being Home
My husband works a lot. He works roughly 10 hour days. Sometimes he even goes into the office on the weekends. I'm blessed to not have to work right now. We're broke, but we get by. Everyday he calls me from work and asks what I have planned for the day. Most days I don't really have anything planned. When the baby is awake he can only really last for about 2 hours. Thirty minutes of that is spent changing and breastfeeding, right? Since he's still only 3 months, I don't know if things like the zoo are really going to hold much of his interest, yet. Anyway, I feel awkard saying to my husband everyday, "Oh, we're going on a walk and just hanging out."
From the time my husband and I met and up through my pregnancy I had a kick-ass job as a wine rep. Pretty sweet. Everybody always commented on how "cool" it was. Well, it was sales and there was a lot of pressure. I didn't love it, but I liked it most days. The money was good and I was good at it, but being able to raise my own child is so much cooler (in my opinion). When my husband would get home from work, I used to share stories about wineries, customers, fun new restaurants, and I would have wine open to taste! Now, all I do is talk about the baby, though...his sleep habits, feeding schedule, poop, and any new discoveries he made that day, like grabbing his feet for the first time. So, because I don't have a fun-filled and packed schedule everyday, I'm beginning to wonder--is my husband starting to find me boring?
From the time my husband and I met and up through my pregnancy I had a kick-ass job as a wine rep. Pretty sweet. Everybody always commented on how "cool" it was. Well, it was sales and there was a lot of pressure. I didn't love it, but I liked it most days. The money was good and I was good at it, but being able to raise my own child is so much cooler (in my opinion). When my husband would get home from work, I used to share stories about wineries, customers, fun new restaurants, and I would have wine open to taste! Now, all I do is talk about the baby, though...his sleep habits, feeding schedule, poop, and any new discoveries he made that day, like grabbing his feet for the first time. So, because I don't have a fun-filled and packed schedule everyday, I'm beginning to wonder--is my husband starting to find me boring?
Saturday, April 2, 2011
When the Baby Cries
When my baby cries, it's one of two things that are going on: a) something has happened and it needs to be fixed (ie., he dirtied his diaper and it needs changing, he's gotten hungry and needs to be fed, etc.) or b) he wants to be with me (regardless of whether or not he actually, truly needs me).
Well, yesterday was a rough day for me (for both of us, come to think of it). He didn't really nap well in the morning. When it was time for his second nap, all hell broke loose. Remember the other day I wrote about how he cannot, by no means whatsoever, stay awake for longer than 120 minutes? It was totally my fault. He was up a bit longer than he was capable of withstanding and he lost it when I put him down for his nap. He screamed and cried. The first 15-25 minutes I can handle. I can try to soothe him by "shushing" in a repetitive, soft, white-noise kinda way. I can try singing to him, adjusting the temperature of the room, circulating the air, play music, not play music, and if all else fails, I am good at walking away for a few minutes here and there. Once we hit the 30 minute mark, though, I realized this was going to be a long one. I caved. I picked him up and walked around with him. I put him back down and so it began again... All the windows and doors were open because it was blazing hot in our house and outside. I was sweating, the dog was barking, the baby was crying, and then I proceeded to cry, as well.
When it gets to that point--I'm done for. All negativity creeps into my head. I start to think things like, "Why can't I help him? What's wrong with me? I can't do this alone! What if people can hear him outside? They are going to think I'm not a good mom!" I called my husband at work and cried to him, "When are you coming home! He won't stop crying and he's been crying for an hour! I don't know what to do!" His response was, "Well, what's the problem?" Are you freakin' kidding me? Obviously I wouldn't be calling him for answers if I knew the answers, myself. Whatever. It's fine. All I really needed to do was take out my frustration on somebody else, anyway...not the baby. After I hung up on him (because, yes, I hung up on him after he asked me oh-so-casually, "what's the problem?"), he waited a few minutes and called me back. "All babies cry, Babe. Don't be so hard on yourself," he said in a very calm voice. And that was it. He was right and that's why I love my husband. He's not always right, but when he is, it leaves me speechless. It was that simple--I need to remember that ALL BABIES CRY!
I guess I just associate a baby crying with bad parenting. I don't mean to, nor do I honestly think that it's a reflection of how parents handle their children. Think about it, though--how many times have you heard a baby cry at a grocery store or on an airplane? A lot. And the expression on people's faces are always the same. It's that look of, "Ugh! Can't that mom shut that baby up!" It's sad, but true. Even at the movies, during the previews, an example is made of a baby crying and it being disruptive to the rest of the audience. For instance, the other day I was at a store and because my baby started crying, I almost ran a lady over with the stroller while trying to get out of there because people were looking at me funny. Nothing was wrong with my son--he was just over being in a freakin' craft store! I get it. Those stores can be overwhelming. I still felt super anxious, though.
So, when your baby cries, do you feel this way or is it just me?
Well, yesterday was a rough day for me (for both of us, come to think of it). He didn't really nap well in the morning. When it was time for his second nap, all hell broke loose. Remember the other day I wrote about how he cannot, by no means whatsoever, stay awake for longer than 120 minutes? It was totally my fault. He was up a bit longer than he was capable of withstanding and he lost it when I put him down for his nap. He screamed and cried. The first 15-25 minutes I can handle. I can try to soothe him by "shushing" in a repetitive, soft, white-noise kinda way. I can try singing to him, adjusting the temperature of the room, circulating the air, play music, not play music, and if all else fails, I am good at walking away for a few minutes here and there. Once we hit the 30 minute mark, though, I realized this was going to be a long one. I caved. I picked him up and walked around with him. I put him back down and so it began again... All the windows and doors were open because it was blazing hot in our house and outside. I was sweating, the dog was barking, the baby was crying, and then I proceeded to cry, as well.
When it gets to that point--I'm done for. All negativity creeps into my head. I start to think things like, "Why can't I help him? What's wrong with me? I can't do this alone! What if people can hear him outside? They are going to think I'm not a good mom!" I called my husband at work and cried to him, "When are you coming home! He won't stop crying and he's been crying for an hour! I don't know what to do!" His response was, "Well, what's the problem?" Are you freakin' kidding me? Obviously I wouldn't be calling him for answers if I knew the answers, myself. Whatever. It's fine. All I really needed to do was take out my frustration on somebody else, anyway...not the baby. After I hung up on him (because, yes, I hung up on him after he asked me oh-so-casually, "what's the problem?"), he waited a few minutes and called me back. "All babies cry, Babe. Don't be so hard on yourself," he said in a very calm voice. And that was it. He was right and that's why I love my husband. He's not always right, but when he is, it leaves me speechless. It was that simple--I need to remember that ALL BABIES CRY!
I guess I just associate a baby crying with bad parenting. I don't mean to, nor do I honestly think that it's a reflection of how parents handle their children. Think about it, though--how many times have you heard a baby cry at a grocery store or on an airplane? A lot. And the expression on people's faces are always the same. It's that look of, "Ugh! Can't that mom shut that baby up!" It's sad, but true. Even at the movies, during the previews, an example is made of a baby crying and it being disruptive to the rest of the audience. For instance, the other day I was at a store and because my baby started crying, I almost ran a lady over with the stroller while trying to get out of there because people were looking at me funny. Nothing was wrong with my son--he was just over being in a freakin' craft store! I get it. Those stores can be overwhelming. I still felt super anxious, though.
So, when your baby cries, do you feel this way or is it just me?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
First Night Alone
Last night was the first night I tried having my boy sleep alone in his bedroom. We've had him sleeping in the pack-n-play, in our room. I was so worried--What if we woke up and I slept through his cries? What if he cries for hours before I finally realize it? What if there's a FIRE and I can't get to his room?!?! (Okay, that's being a little dramatic, but, hey, I'd be lying if I told you these crazy thoughts didn't go through my head.)
So, yesterday afternoon rolls around and he's totally adamant about skipping his last nap. This is trouble. I've come to realize that putting a 3 month old on a schedule is just stupid. First of all, if he's hungry, he's hungry. I'm going to let him eat. Second of all, if he happens to fall asleep in the stroller, I'm not going to wake him up because it's "not the right time." I tried the schedule and came to the conclusion that we have no schedule. Whatever. I'm fine with that...for now. One thing I realized from this scheduling experiment is that he cannot stay awake for longer than 2 hours. Seriously. If he's awake for, say, 130 minutes, it's like the Devil has taken over the controls. His brain melts, the eyes pop out of his head, and he goes completely insane. Anyway, back to him skipping his last nap...
At 2 hours and 20 minutes, I begin our bedtime routine: bath, massage, pjs, feeding, "goodnight room," and bed. I put him down at 8pm and prepared myself for at least 45 minutes of screaming and crying. 8:05...no crying. I check on him and he's out like a light. I can't believe it. My husband and I have dinner and we're saying to each other, "Well, let's give it until 8:45. He's been known to wake up after 45 minutes." 9:00...still passed out cold. We go to bed around 11 or so and by this time we've "checked" on him (we're really just watching him sleep because it's so freakin' adorable) at least 15 times. He's totally fine. My husband wakes up at 5am to go surfing. (Seriously. He does this every single morning. If the waves are bad, he still gets up and checks the surf.) Our cousin said to us once, "When you have a baby...Daddy don't surf." Well, I didn't get so lucky. This Daddy does surf. Everyday. Anyway, back to the story--5am. He's still asleep. He slept until 7am!!! I couldn't believe it! He woke up so happy. I was so scared to have him sleep alone in his room. I thought he was too young and wasn't ready. He ended up doing just fine. Then I thought to myself--Omigosh. Do I need him more than he needs me? He slept just fine without me in the room. I missed him being so close to me! This is just the beginning...my son is going to grow up so fast and slowly separate himself from me. He will learn how to do things on his own, without my help, and he will be perfectly fine. He's still a baby and I already feel like he's growing up too fast!
So, yesterday afternoon rolls around and he's totally adamant about skipping his last nap. This is trouble. I've come to realize that putting a 3 month old on a schedule is just stupid. First of all, if he's hungry, he's hungry. I'm going to let him eat. Second of all, if he happens to fall asleep in the stroller, I'm not going to wake him up because it's "not the right time." I tried the schedule and came to the conclusion that we have no schedule. Whatever. I'm fine with that...for now. One thing I realized from this scheduling experiment is that he cannot stay awake for longer than 2 hours. Seriously. If he's awake for, say, 130 minutes, it's like the Devil has taken over the controls. His brain melts, the eyes pop out of his head, and he goes completely insane. Anyway, back to him skipping his last nap...
At 2 hours and 20 minutes, I begin our bedtime routine: bath, massage, pjs, feeding, "goodnight room," and bed. I put him down at 8pm and prepared myself for at least 45 minutes of screaming and crying. 8:05...no crying. I check on him and he's out like a light. I can't believe it. My husband and I have dinner and we're saying to each other, "Well, let's give it until 8:45. He's been known to wake up after 45 minutes." 9:00...still passed out cold. We go to bed around 11 or so and by this time we've "checked" on him (we're really just watching him sleep because it's so freakin' adorable) at least 15 times. He's totally fine. My husband wakes up at 5am to go surfing. (Seriously. He does this every single morning. If the waves are bad, he still gets up and checks the surf.) Our cousin said to us once, "When you have a baby...Daddy don't surf." Well, I didn't get so lucky. This Daddy does surf. Everyday. Anyway, back to the story--5am. He's still asleep. He slept until 7am!!! I couldn't believe it! He woke up so happy. I was so scared to have him sleep alone in his room. I thought he was too young and wasn't ready. He ended up doing just fine. Then I thought to myself--Omigosh. Do I need him more than he needs me? He slept just fine without me in the room. I missed him being so close to me! This is just the beginning...my son is going to grow up so fast and slowly separate himself from me. He will learn how to do things on his own, without my help, and he will be perfectly fine. He's still a baby and I already feel like he's growing up too fast!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I Don't Know
Is it normal to completely doubt every single thing you do for you child? For instance, as far as napping goes...is it okay to let them fall asleep in your arms and hold them the entire time for fear of waking them up if you to put them down or do you put them down while they are still drowsy and then listen to them cry for what seems like an eternity before they fall asleep on their own? Yeah, yeah, I "know" I should put my child in his crib while he is still awake so he can learn to self-soothe, but it's still hard! I hate hearing him cry! Better yet, I hate hearing him scream! I can handle the whimpering, but when I get that pick-me-up-now-or-I'm-gonna-go-crazy! cry...Oh My Gosh!!!
See, I'm not a big fan of the Crying-It-Out Method. I prefer the Ferber Method. I feel so grown-up and mommy-like by saying that! I can say things like "CIO" and "Ferber" because I know all about them. (Yeah, right). I mean, really, is it just me or does every single method, technique, book, doctor, etcetera out there have conflicting ideals with the next method, technique, book...? What's that all about?!
Anyway, I just don't think that letting my child cry for an hour before checking on him is anything short of neglect. It's just my opinion and I know a lot of people disagree. That's okay! I, on the otherhand, prefer to check on him in 5-, 10-, and 15-minute increments when he's crying. Maybe he's playing me...I don't know. Hence, the title of my post...
See, I'm not a big fan of the Crying-It-Out Method. I prefer the Ferber Method. I feel so grown-up and mommy-like by saying that! I can say things like "CIO" and "Ferber" because I know all about them. (Yeah, right). I mean, really, is it just me or does every single method, technique, book, doctor, etcetera out there have conflicting ideals with the next method, technique, book...? What's that all about?!
Anyway, I just don't think that letting my child cry for an hour before checking on him is anything short of neglect. It's just my opinion and I know a lot of people disagree. That's okay! I, on the otherhand, prefer to check on him in 5-, 10-, and 15-minute increments when he's crying. Maybe he's playing me...I don't know. Hence, the title of my post...
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